twenty/twenty

I'm not sure what to think of 2020.

It's been a short few months I have no experience with whatsoever.

I've been told my child will die.
I've been forced by our government to finish the first year of OTA school on my own digitally.
I've been told repeatedly the social media lies about Covid-19.
I've been wallowing through depression and loneliness.
I've experienced bodily pain in different ways.
I've been told I cannot go with my husband to an ultrasound which he has never been present for.
I've experienced insensitivity towards my pregnancy.

but..

I have been able to feel Amara swimming around happily.
I have been able to tell people why I am giving her life.
I have been able to get full grades on assignments.
I have been able to keep my job since I work in a hospital.
I have been able to start knitting a blanket for Amara.
I have been able to connect with other's who have been affected by anencephaly.
I have been able to fly to Florida with my husband for a little get away with my family.

And that's just some of the blessings I have been able to enjoy in these short few months.

I've experienced much heartbreak and bleakness in my short life.

Now, I know a lot of peoples plans, birthdays, holidays, events, and other occasions have gotten canceled by this virus.

May I encourage you that in the midst of the irritation and frustration, to keep a gratitude journal? One that is not on your phone.  One on paper with ink.

Do it. For yourself. Your mood. Your future self looking back at these hard times.

Now go.. write and be thankful.